What Did Jesus Mean When He Said We Must “Hate” Our Families to Be His Disciples?

by Rose Makero | 1 September 2019 08:46 pm09

Luke 14:26 (NKJV):

“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.”

Understanding the Meaning:
Jesus’ use of the word “hate” in this passage is not a call to animosity or hostility, which would contradict His command to love others — including one’s enemies (Matthew 5:44). Instead, He uses hyperbolic language (a common Jewish teaching method) to emphasize the cost of discipleship and the priority of loyalty to Him over all other relationships.

This idea is supported

 in Matthew 10:37 (NKJV):
“He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me.”

Here, Jesus clarifies His meaning: our love for Him must surpass our love for family — not eliminate it. This means that if there’s ever a conflict between God’s will and our family’s expectations, our obedience to Christ must come first.

1. Obedience to God Over Family Traditions

Deuteronomy 18:10–12 (NKJV):
“There shall not be found among you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire, or one who practices witchcraft, or a soothsayer, or one who interprets omens, or a sorcerer… For all who do these things are an abomination to the Lord.”

Even if family or cultural traditions demand participation in sinful practices like divination, ancestral rituals, or drunkenness, a true disciple must stand firm in God’s truth. Seeking to please family at the cost of disobeying God is idolatry — putting others before Him.

Galatians 1:10 (NKJV):
“For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I still pleased men, I would not be a bondservant of Christ.”

2. True Baptism and the Fear of Man

Some resist biblical baptism — by full immersion in the name of Jesus Christ — due to pressure from family or religious traditions. Yet Scripture clearly teaches:

Acts 2:38 (NKJV):
“Then Peter said to them, ‘Repent, and let every one of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins; and you shall receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.'”

John 3:5 (NKJV):
“Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God.”

Obeying Christ must take precedence over denominational loyalty or family expectations. Jesus warned about those who reject the will of God because of fear of others:

John 12:42–43 (NKJV):
“Nevertheless even among the rulers many believed in Him, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess Him, lest they should be put out of the synagogue; for they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.”

3. The Cost of Discipleship

Following Christ requires sacrifice. Jesus never promised that discipleship would be easy or socially accepted. In fact, He made it clear:

Luke 14:27 (NKJV):
“And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple.”

This means dying to self, enduring rejection, and being willing to lose everything — even relationships — for the sake of the Gospel.

Philippians 3:8 (NKJV):
“Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ.”

4. Final Exhortation

Discipleship demands full surrender. We must not let the fear of family, culture, or human opinion prevent us from obeying the commands of Jesus. He alone is Lord, and His Word is final.

Colossians 3:23–24 (NKJV):
“And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”

May the Lord grant us grace and courage to obey Him fully — even when it costs us dearly.

Amen.

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Source URL: https://wingulamashahidi.org/en/2019/09/01/what-did-jesus-mean-when-he-said-we-must-hate-our-families-to-be-his-disciples/