by Rogath Henry | 19 June 2020 08:46 pm06
In most cases, conflicts between people arise due to real, justifiable reasons—rather than for no cause at all. It’s rare for someone to dislike another without any reason (though jealousy may sometimes cause that). More often than not, people hold grudges or refuse to forgive because they have been genuinely wronged: someone stole from them, insulted them, betrayed them, killed a loved one, or even slandered them publicly.
These are serious offenses, and in human terms, they give us every right to be angry, bitter, or unforgiving. In fact, some might argue that if they stood before God, they could defend their bitterness:
“God, I hate that person because they were a murderer, a corrupt leader, a liar, a witch, etc.”
But what does the Bible teach us to do when we find ourselves in such situations?
Biblical Response to Blame and Grievances
Colossians 3:12-13 (NIV)
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”
The key phrase is:
“…if any of you has a grievance against someone…”
This means even when your complaint is legitimate, you are still expected to forgive—just as God forgave you.
You may have every right to blame your parents for failing to educate you despite having the means. You may blame leaders, teachers, or pastors who neglected their duty. You may have helped someone who later turned around and falsely accused you or called you a witch.
But Scripture does not give us room to hold onto bitterness, no matter how justified it feels. It says:
“Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” (Colossians 3:13)
Why Must We Forgive Even When We’re Right?
Because God forgives us daily despite having every reason not to. Every sin we commit—every lie, every act of hatred, every moment of pride—is worthy of judgment. God could condemn us, yet through Christ, He offers free and unmerited forgiveness.
Luke 6:37
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”
When you release others from blame, you yourself are released from the heavy burden of unforgiveness. Bitterness chains the heart and gives the enemy room to operate. But forgiveness brings supernatural peace.
The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
Jesus illustrated this truth powerfully in the parable found in Matthew 18:23-35.
A servant who owed a king an enormous debt (10,000 talents) was forgiven, yet he refused to forgive a fellow servant who owed him a small amount (100 denarii). The king, upon hearing this, was furious:
Matthew 18:32-33
“You wicked servant, I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”
The result?
“In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”
(Matthew 18:34-35)
Forgiveness is not optional for believers. It is a condition for receiving mercy from God.
Why This Teaching Is Vital
In this fallen world, offenses are inevitable. Someone will disappoint you. Someone will hurt you intentionally or unintentionally. Jesus said:
Luke 17:1
“It is impossible that no offenses should come…”
Therefore, we must prepare our hearts to forgive, even before we’re wronged.
Failing to forgive doesn’t just harm relationships—it threatens your eternity. Jesus said:
Matthew 6:14-15
“For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
Final Encouragement
No matter how deep the wound, no matter how justified your pain, let go of the grudge. Choose forgiveness. Release the offender to God. Forgiveness is not denying the pain—they may never say sorry—but it’s surrendering your right to revenge.
Romans 12:19
“Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath…”
Let the love of Christ fill your heart. Let the peace of God rule your thoughts.
Colossians 3:14-15
“And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts…”
Conclusion
If God, who is perfectly holy, has every reason to judge us and yet forgives—how much more should we, forgiven sinners, forgive one another?
Ephesians 4:32
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
May the Lord bless you as you choose the path of mercy.
Please feel free to share this message with others.
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