by Dorcas Kulwa | 12 May 2023 08:46 am05
WHAT CAN WOMEN LEARN FROM ABIGAIL?
A Biblical Reflection on Wisdom, Faith, and Grace in Difficult Marriages
This message is part of our special teaching series focused on women of faith in the Bible.
Today, we turn our attention to one of Scripture’s most admirable women—Abigail. Through her story, we hear the voice of God calling women to walk in wisdom, courage, and righteousness even under difficult circumstances.
Abigail was married to Nabal, a wealthy man from Maon, whose character was as foolish as his name implied. The Bible says:
1 Samuel 25: 3
“The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail. And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. He was of the house of Caleb.”
We are not told why Abigail married Nabal—perhaps it was an arranged marriage, or she felt pressured by family or circumstances. Whatever the case, it is clear that Abigail found herself yoked to a man who did not reflect God’s character. This scenario is not uncommon today—many women discover too late that their partner lacks spiritual maturity, compassion, and godly leadership.
Nabal was wealthy, but his heart was hardened. When David and his men offered protection to Nabal’s shepherds in the wilderness, he responded with contempt instead of gratitude. He scorned David’s request for food, saying:
1 Samuel 25:10 – 11
“Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master. Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat… and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?”
This offended David deeply. He and 400 of his men prepared to avenge the insult. But Abigail, recognizing the danger, took swift action.
Many women today prioritize material wealth over spiritual values when choosing a partner. But Scripture reminds us:
Proverbs 31:30
“Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”
And likewise, a man who fears God is of far greater worth than one who merely has possessions. As Jesus said:
Mark 8:36
“For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul?”
Women must be discerning—true blessing in marriage comes when both partners are submitted to God.
Abigail’s response was not only quick—it was filled with divine wisdom. She prepared gifts and met David on the road, falling at his feet and pleading for mercy on behalf of her household:
1 Samuel 25:25 – 26
“Please, let not my lord regard this scoundrel Nabal. For as his name is, so is he: Nabal is his name, and folly is with him!… The Lord has held you back from coming to bloodshed… now let your enemies… be as Nabal.”
Abigail acted as an intercessor—a peacemaker who turned away wrath with a soft answer (cf. Proverbs 15:1). Her humility and wisdom not only saved her household but also prevented David from committing unnecessary bloodshed.
David recognized this and said:
1 Samuel 25: 32-33
“Blessed is the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me! And blessed is your advice and blessed are you.”
Abigail exemplifies the woman in .
Proverbs 14:1:
“The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.”
She teaches us that godly wisdom can preserve not only our homes but also the future purposes of God in our lives and in others’.
Abigail didn’t abandon her husband, despite his foolishness and spiritual blindness. She didn’t seek another man while still married. Instead, she honored the covenant of marriage and sought God’s will. Though she knew her husband’s ways were evil, she placed her trust in God’s justice—not in her own power.
As a result, God Himself acted:
1 Samuel 25:38
“Then it happened, after about ten days, that the Lord struck Nabal, and he died.”
After Nabal’s death, David sent for Abigail and made her his wife. This was not just a natural reward—it symbolized divine elevation. Abigail went from the house of a fool to the palace of a king.
This is a prophetic picture of how God can lift a woman out of trials into a place of honor—when she chooses to trust and walk with Him.
To women in difficult marriages today: do not give up. Your responsibility is to remain prayerful, to walk in love, and to leave judgment to the Lord. The Apostle Paul reminds wives:
1 Corinthians 7:16
“For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband?”
Keep interceding. Keep standing. Even if it takes years, know that God is faithful. He may not take your husband’s life as He did with Nabal, but He can remove the Nabal-like spirit from his heart and bring transformation.
Abigail can also be seen as a prophetic figure of the Church, the Bride of Christ. Just as Abigail prepared a gift and met the future king with humility, so we too must prepare our hearts and meet Christ, our true Bridegroom, in holiness and readiness.
Revelation 19:7
“Let us be glad and rejoice and give Him glory, for the marriage of the Lamb has come, and His wife has made herself ready.”
Abigail’s story points us to the greater narrative of redemption—God’s grace working through a yielded vessel to bring salvation, peace, and eventual
If you are waiting for marriage, choose wisely—look for godly character, not just material provision.
If you are already married and facing hardship, take Abigail’s example. Pray, seek wisdom, remain faithful, and trust in God’s justice and timing.
Philippians 4:6
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.”
God sees. God knows. God will act.
Have You Given Your Life to Christ?
We are living in the final days. The door of grace is closing fast. Have you surrendered your life to Jesus Christ? If not, now is the time. As Jesus warned:
“Watch therefore, for you know neither the day nor the hour in which the Son of Man is coming.”
(Matthew 25:13, NKJV)
Don’t delay your decision. If you are ready to give your life to Jesus today, reach out through the contact information below. We are here to guide you in this life-changing step—completely free.
The Lord bless you and keep you. Shalom.
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