{"id":46548,"date":"2022-02-03T20:28:47","date_gmt":"2022-02-03T17:28:47","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wingulamashahidi.org\/?p=46548"},"modified":"2025-05-22T23:23:55","modified_gmt":"2025-05-22T20:23:55","slug":"youth-and-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wingulamashahidi.org\/en\/2022\/02\/03\/youth-and-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"YOUTH AND RELATIONSHIPS"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Biblical <\/span>Guidance <\/span>for <\/span>Christian <\/span>Youth <\/span>on <\/span>Courtship <\/span>and <\/span>Godly <\/span>Companionship<\/span><\/em><\/p>\n

Welcome <\/span>to <\/span>this <\/span>short <\/span>but <\/span>important <\/span>lesson <\/span>on <\/span>youth <\/span>and <\/span>relationships. <\/span>Many <\/span>young <\/span>people <\/span>today <\/span>rush <\/span>into <\/span>relationships <\/span>without <\/span>proper <\/span>guidance, <\/span>only <\/span>to <\/span>find <\/span>themselves <\/span>wounded <\/span>emotionally, <\/span>spiritually, <\/span>or <\/span>even <\/span>physically. <\/span>As <\/span>a <\/span>result, <\/span>it <\/span>is <\/span>vital <\/span>for <\/span>a <\/span>young <\/span>believer <\/span>to <\/span>first <\/span>seek <\/span>biblical <\/span>wisdom <\/span>before <\/span>engaging <\/span>in <\/span>any <\/span>romantic <\/span>relationship.<\/span><\/p>\n

There <\/span>are <\/span>three <\/span>foundational <\/span>questions <\/span>every <\/span>young <\/span>person <\/span>must <\/span>answer <\/span>before <\/span>entering <\/span>into <\/span>a <\/span>relationship:<\/span><\/p>\n

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  1. \n

    When <\/span>is <\/span>the <\/span>right <\/span>time <\/span>to <\/span>start <\/span>a <\/span>relationship?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  2. \n

    Who <\/span>is <\/span>the <\/span>right <\/span>person <\/span>to <\/span>pursue <\/span>a <\/span>relationship <\/span>with?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

  3. \n

    What <\/span>are <\/span>the <\/span>boundaries <\/span>and <\/span>responsibilities <\/span>within <\/span>a <\/span>godly <\/span>relationship?<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

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    A <\/span>Message <\/span>for <\/span>Born <\/span>Again <\/span>Believers<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

    This <\/span>teaching <\/span>is <\/span>specifically <\/span>directed <\/span>at <\/span>young <\/span>men <\/span>and <\/span>women <\/span>who <\/span>have <\/span>been <\/span>saved<\/span><\/strong>\u2014<\/span>that <\/span>is, <\/span>those <\/span>who <\/span>have <\/span>repented <\/span>of <\/span>their <\/span>sins, <\/span>been <\/span>baptized <\/span>in <\/span>water, <\/span>received <\/span>the <\/span>Holy <\/span>Spirit, <\/span>and <\/span>are <\/span>living <\/span>in <\/span>expectation <\/span>of <\/span>the <\/span>return <\/span>of <\/span>Christ <\/span>and <\/span>the <\/span>coming <\/span>Kingdom (<\/span>Titus <\/span>2:<\/span>11\u2013<\/span>13). <\/span>If <\/span>you <\/span>have <\/span>not <\/span>yet <\/span>received <\/span>Christ <\/span>as <\/span>Lord <\/span>and <\/span>Savior, <\/span>we <\/span>urge <\/span>you <\/span>to <\/span>begin <\/span>there, <\/span>for <\/span>without <\/span>Him, <\/span>all <\/span>other <\/span>pursuits\u2014<\/span>including <\/span>relationships\u2014<\/span>are <\/span>built <\/span>on <\/span>unstable <\/span>ground (<\/span>John <\/span>15:<\/span>5).<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n

    Two <\/span>Types <\/span>of <\/span>Relationships<\/span><\/strong><\/h2>\n

    From <\/span>a <\/span>biblical <\/span>perspective, <\/span>relationships <\/span>fall <\/span>into <\/span>two <\/span>main <\/span>categories:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \n

      Pre-<\/span>marital <\/span>relationships<\/span><\/strong> \u2013 <\/span>commonly <\/span>called <\/span>courtship<\/span><\/strong>, <\/span>which <\/span>is <\/span>a <\/span>preparation <\/span>stage <\/span>for <\/span>marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

    2. \n

      Marital <\/span>relationships<\/span><\/strong> \u2013 <\/span>the <\/span>covenant <\/span>union <\/span>between <\/span>a <\/span>husband <\/span>and <\/span>wife.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      In <\/span>today\u2019s <\/span>teaching, <\/span>we <\/span>will <\/span>focus <\/span>on <\/span>courtship<\/span><\/strong>\u2014<\/span>that <\/span>is, <\/span>the <\/span>relationship <\/span>between <\/span>a <\/span>man <\/span>and <\/span>a <\/span>woman <\/span>who <\/span>are <\/span>preparing <\/span>for <\/span>marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n

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      1. <\/span>When <\/span>Is <\/span>the <\/span>Right <\/span>Time <\/span>to <\/span>Start <\/span>a <\/span>Relationship?<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      For <\/span>Young <\/span>Men:<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      A <\/span>godly <\/span>young <\/span>man <\/span>should <\/span>consider <\/span>beginning <\/span>a <\/span>relationship <\/span>only <\/span>when <\/span>he <\/span>is <\/span>spiritually <\/span>mature <\/span>and <\/span>financially <\/span>stable<\/span><\/strong>. <\/span>The <\/span>Bible <\/span>says:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u201c<\/span>But <\/span>if <\/span>anyone <\/span>does <\/span>not <\/span>provide <\/span>for <\/span>his <\/span>relatives, <\/span>and <\/span>especially <\/span>for <\/span>members <\/span>of <\/span>his <\/span>household, <\/span>he <\/span>has <\/span>denied <\/span>the <\/span>faith <\/span>and <\/span>is <\/span>worse <\/span>than <\/span>an <\/span>unbeliever.\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>1 <\/span>Timothy <\/span>5:<\/span>8, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

      Courtship <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>for <\/span>boys\u2014<\/span>it <\/span>is <\/span>for <\/span>men. <\/span>If <\/span>you <\/span>are <\/span>still <\/span>dependent <\/span>on <\/span>your <\/span>parents, <\/span>living <\/span>under <\/span>their <\/span>care, <\/span>or <\/span>have <\/span>no <\/span>income, <\/span>it <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>yet <\/span>time <\/span>to <\/span>pursue <\/span>a <\/span>relationship. <\/span>You <\/span>must <\/span>first <\/span>be <\/span>able <\/span>to <\/span>care <\/span>for <\/span>yourself <\/span>before <\/span>thinking <\/span>of <\/span>caring <\/span>for <\/span>another.<\/span><\/p>\n

      In <\/span>today\u2019s <\/span>society, <\/span>due <\/span>to <\/span>the <\/span>length <\/span>of <\/span>education <\/span>and <\/span>economic <\/span>demands, <\/span>many <\/span>young <\/span>men <\/span>begin <\/span>to <\/span>stand <\/span>on <\/span>their <\/span>own <\/span>financially <\/span>by <\/span>the <\/span>age <\/span>of <\/span>25 <\/span>or <\/span>older. <\/span>This <\/span>is <\/span>a <\/span>more <\/span>realistic <\/span>and <\/span>appropriate <\/span>age <\/span>to <\/span>consider <\/span>entering <\/span>a <\/span>serious <\/span>relationship. <\/span>However, <\/span>this <\/span>varies <\/span>depending <\/span>on <\/span>personal <\/span>circumstances.<\/span><\/p>\n

      For <\/span>Young <\/span>Women:<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      A <\/span>young <\/span>woman <\/span>should <\/span>also <\/span>avoid <\/span>relationships <\/span>while <\/span>still <\/span>in <\/span>school. <\/span>The <\/span>ideal <\/span>time <\/span>is <\/span>after <\/span>completing <\/span>formal <\/span>education<\/span><\/strong>, <\/span>and <\/span>when <\/span>she <\/span>has <\/span>attained <\/span>spiritual <\/span>maturity. <\/span>Many <\/span>young <\/span>women <\/span>under <\/span>the <\/span>age <\/span>of <\/span>20 <\/span>enter <\/span>relationships <\/span>out <\/span>of <\/span>emotional <\/span>impulse <\/span>or <\/span>peer <\/span>pressure, <\/span>and <\/span>later <\/span>regret <\/span>the <\/span>decisions <\/span>they <\/span>made <\/span>in <\/span>their <\/span>immaturity.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u201c<\/span>Charm <\/span>is <\/span>deceitful, <\/span>and <\/span>beauty <\/span>is <\/span>vain, <\/span>but <\/span>a <\/span>woman <\/span>who <\/span>fears <\/span>the <\/span>Lord <\/span>is <\/span>to <\/span>be <\/span>praised.\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>Proverbs <\/span>31:<\/span>30, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

      Spiritual <\/span>readiness <\/span>and <\/span>personal <\/span>growth <\/span>are <\/span>far <\/span>more <\/span>important <\/span>than <\/span>age <\/span>alone.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      2. <\/span>Who <\/span>Is <\/span>the <\/span>Right <\/span>Person <\/span>to <\/span>Be <\/span>in <\/span>a <\/span>Relationship <\/span>With?<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      For <\/span>Young <\/span>Men:<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      Do <\/span>not <\/span>begin <\/span>a <\/span>relationship <\/span>simply <\/span>because <\/span>a <\/span>prophet<\/span><\/strong>, <\/span>pastor<\/span><\/strong>, <\/span>or <\/span>dream<\/span><\/strong> told <\/span>you <\/span>so. <\/span>Marriage <\/span>is <\/span>a <\/span>personal <\/span>and <\/span>spiritual <\/span>commitment, <\/span>and <\/span>you <\/span>must <\/span>take <\/span>full <\/span>responsibility <\/span>for <\/span>your <\/span>choice. <\/span>God <\/span>may <\/span>guide <\/span>you, <\/span>but <\/span>you<\/span><\/strong> must <\/span>discern <\/span>and <\/span>choose <\/span>wisely:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u201c<\/span>He <\/span>who <\/span>finds <\/span>a <\/span>wife <\/span>finds <\/span>a <\/span>good <\/span>thing <\/span>and <\/span>obtains <\/span>favor <\/span>from <\/span>the <\/span>Lord.\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>Proverbs <\/span>18:<\/span>22, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

      Also, <\/span>do <\/span>not <\/span>allow <\/span>a <\/span>woman <\/span>to <\/span>pressure <\/span>or <\/span>manipulate <\/span>you <\/span>into <\/span>a <\/span>relationship. <\/span>Leadership <\/span>in <\/span>courtship <\/span>and <\/span>marriage <\/span>is <\/span>a <\/span>God-<\/span>given <\/span>responsibility <\/span>for <\/span>men (<\/span>Ephesians <\/span>5:<\/span>23).<\/span><\/p>\n

      For <\/span>Young <\/span>Women:<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

      Do <\/span>not <\/span>consider <\/span>a <\/span>man <\/span>who <\/span>is <\/span>still <\/span>a <\/span>student<\/span><\/strong>, <\/span>even <\/span>if <\/span>he <\/span>appears <\/span>sincere. <\/span>A <\/span>man <\/span>who <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>yet <\/span>financially <\/span>or <\/span>emotionally <\/span>prepared <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>ready <\/span>for <\/span>courtship. <\/span>Be <\/span>cautious <\/span>even <\/span>of <\/span>charming <\/span>or <\/span>generous <\/span>suitors:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u201c<\/span>Do <\/span>not <\/span>be <\/span>unequally <\/span>yoked <\/span>with <\/span>unbelievers. <\/span>For <\/span>what <\/span>partnership <\/span>has <\/span>righteousness <\/span>with <\/span>lawlessness?\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>2 <\/span>Corinthians <\/span>6:<\/span>14, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

      If <\/span>he <\/span>does <\/span>not <\/span>share <\/span>your <\/span>faith <\/span>and <\/span>values, <\/span>he <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>the <\/span>man <\/span>God <\/span>intends <\/span>for <\/span>you.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      3. <\/span>What <\/span>Should <\/span>You <\/span>Do\u2014<\/span>and <\/span>Not <\/span>Do\u2014<\/span>During <\/span>Courtship?<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      For <\/span>Young <\/span>Men:<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

      If <\/span>the <\/span>woman <\/span>you <\/span>are <\/span>interested <\/span>in <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>saved, <\/span>your <\/span>first <\/span>goal <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>to <\/span>date <\/span>her\u2014<\/span>but <\/span>to <\/span>share <\/span>Christ <\/span>with <\/span>her. <\/span>However, <\/span>do <\/span>not <\/span>promise <\/span>marriage <\/span>just <\/span>to <\/span>lead <\/span>her <\/span>to <\/span>Christ, <\/span>or <\/span>she <\/span>may <\/span>pretend <\/span>to <\/span>convert <\/span>for <\/span>the <\/span>sake <\/span>of <\/span>marrying <\/span>you.<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u201c<\/span>Seek <\/span>first <\/span>the <\/span>kingdom <\/span>of <\/span>God <\/span>and <\/span>His <\/span>righteousness, <\/span>and <\/span>all <\/span>these <\/span>things <\/span>will <\/span>be <\/span>added <\/span>to <\/span>you.\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>Matthew <\/span>6:<\/span>33, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

      Let <\/span>her <\/span>come <\/span>to <\/span>Christ <\/span>because <\/span>she <\/span>desires <\/span>the <\/span>Lord\u2014<\/span>not <\/span>because <\/span>she <\/span>desires <\/span>you. <\/span>If <\/span>she <\/span>truly <\/span>receives <\/span>Christ, <\/span>begins <\/span>to <\/span>walk <\/span>in <\/span>the <\/span>Spirit, <\/span>and <\/span>joins <\/span>your <\/span>fellowship, <\/span>then <\/span>you <\/span>may <\/span>begin <\/span>a <\/span>friendship <\/span>that <\/span>is <\/span>respectful <\/span>and <\/span>transparent.<\/span><\/p>\n

      For <\/span>Young <\/span>Women:<\/span><\/strong><\/h4>\n

      Remember, <\/span>it <\/span>is <\/span>the <\/span>man <\/span>who <\/span>pursues <\/span>the <\/span>woman<\/span><\/strong>, <\/span>not <\/span>the <\/span>other <\/span>way <\/span>around. <\/span>Do <\/span>not <\/span>advertise <\/span>yourself <\/span>as <\/span>seeking <\/span>a <\/span>husband. <\/span>Remain <\/span>pure, <\/span>prayerful, <\/span>and <\/span>content <\/span>in <\/span>God\u2019s <\/span>timing. <\/span>A <\/span>godly <\/span>man <\/span>will <\/span>recognize <\/span>your <\/span>value <\/span>and <\/span>pursue <\/span>you <\/span>with <\/span>honor:<\/span><\/p>\n

      \n

      \u201c<\/span>A <\/span>prudent <\/span>wife <\/span>is <\/span>from <\/span>the <\/span>Lord.\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>Proverbs <\/span>19:<\/span>14, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

      Also, <\/span>be <\/span>careful <\/span>when <\/span>someone <\/span>shows <\/span>interest <\/span>in <\/span>you. <\/span>Not <\/span>everyone <\/span>who <\/span>desires <\/span>you <\/span>has <\/span>good <\/span>intentions. <\/span>Even <\/span>ungodly <\/span>men <\/span>are <\/span>drawn <\/span>to <\/span>pure <\/span>and <\/span>virtuous <\/span>women, <\/span>so <\/span>test <\/span>every <\/span>spirit (<\/span>1 <\/span>John <\/span>4:<\/span>1). <\/span>If <\/span>he <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>saved, <\/span>introduce <\/span>him <\/span>to <\/span>a <\/span>male <\/span>spiritual <\/span>leader\u2014<\/span>not <\/span>to <\/span>yourself. <\/span>If <\/span>he <\/span>refuses <\/span>godly <\/span>counsel, <\/span>he <\/span>is <\/span>not <\/span>from <\/span>God.<\/span><\/p>\n

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      What <\/span>to <\/span>Avoid <\/span>During <\/span>Courtship<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

      Whether <\/span>you <\/span>are <\/span>a <\/span>young <\/span>man <\/span>or <\/span>woman:<\/span><\/p>\n

        \n
      1. \n

        Avoid <\/span>all <\/span>sexual <\/span>activity<\/span><\/strong>\u2014<\/span>including <\/span>touching, <\/span>kissing, <\/span>or <\/span>being <\/span>alone <\/span>together <\/span>in <\/span>private <\/span>settings. <\/span>These <\/span>behaviors <\/span>stir <\/span>up <\/span>temptation <\/span>and <\/span>dishonor <\/span>God:<\/span><\/p>\n

        \n

        \u201c<\/span>Flee <\/span>from <\/span>sexual <\/span>immorality… <\/span>your <\/span>body <\/span>is <\/span>a <\/span>temple <\/span>of <\/span>the <\/span>Holy <\/span>Spirit <\/span>within <\/span>you.\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>1 <\/span>Corinthians <\/span>6:<\/span>18\u2013<\/span>19, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n<\/li>\n

      2. \n

        Avoid <\/span>private <\/span>visits <\/span>to <\/span>each <\/span>other\u2019s <\/span>homes <\/span>when <\/span>alone<\/span><\/strong>. <\/span>Always <\/span>ensure <\/span>accountability. <\/span>Invite <\/span>mature <\/span>believers <\/span>into <\/span>your <\/span>relationship <\/span>for <\/span>mentorship <\/span>and <\/span>spiritual <\/span>counsel.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

      3. \n

        Grow <\/span>together <\/span>spiritually<\/span><\/strong>. <\/span>Read <\/span>books <\/span>or <\/span>listen <\/span>to <\/span>sermons <\/span>on <\/span>biblical <\/span>relationships <\/span>and <\/span>prepare <\/span>for <\/span>the <\/span>responsibilities <\/span>of <\/span>marriage.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        \n

        When <\/span>You <\/span>Are <\/span>Ready <\/span>to <\/span>Marry<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

        If, <\/span>after <\/span>prayer, <\/span>counsel, <\/span>and <\/span>time, <\/span>both <\/span>of <\/span>you <\/span>discern <\/span>that <\/span>you <\/span>are <\/span>meant <\/span>to <\/span>marry, <\/span>follow <\/span>these <\/span>biblical <\/span>steps:<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n
        1. \n

          Inform <\/span>your <\/span>parents <\/span>or <\/span>guardians<\/span><\/strong> early\u2014<\/span>do <\/span>not <\/span>surprise <\/span>them. <\/span>Let <\/span>them <\/span>know <\/span>the <\/span>person <\/span>in <\/span>advance <\/span>so <\/span>they <\/span>can <\/span>support <\/span>and <\/span>bless <\/span>your <\/span>union (<\/span>Exodus <\/span>20:<\/span>12).<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        2. \n

          Inform <\/span>your <\/span>church <\/span>leaders<\/span><\/strong> and <\/span>let <\/span>the <\/span>relationship <\/span>be <\/span>publicly <\/span>acknowledged. <\/span>Allow <\/span>the <\/span>church <\/span>to <\/span>guide <\/span>you <\/span>through <\/span>the <\/span>proper <\/span>process.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        3. \n

          Bride <\/span>price (<\/span>dowry)<\/span><\/strong> should <\/span>be <\/span>paid. <\/span>In <\/span>Scripture, <\/span>the <\/span>groom <\/span>paid <\/span>a <\/span>bride <\/span>price <\/span>as <\/span>a <\/span>sign <\/span>of <\/span>honor <\/span>and <\/span>commitment (<\/span>Genesis <\/span>34:<\/span>12). <\/span>This <\/span>reflects <\/span>how <\/span>Christ <\/span>paid <\/span>the <\/span>ultimate <\/span>price\u2014<\/span>His <\/span>blood\u2014<\/span>to <\/span>redeem <\/span>His <\/span>bride, <\/span>the <\/span>Church (<\/span>Ephesians <\/span>5:<\/span>25\u2013<\/span>27).<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n

        4. \n

          After <\/span>the <\/span>wedding <\/span>ceremony<\/span><\/strong>, <\/span>you <\/span>are <\/span>now <\/span>husband <\/span>and <\/span>wife <\/span>and <\/span>free <\/span>to <\/span>enjoy <\/span>the <\/span>full <\/span>blessings <\/span>of <\/span>marriage (<\/span>Hebrews <\/span>13:<\/span>4).<\/span><\/p>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          \n

          Final <\/span>Encouragement<\/span><\/strong><\/h3>\n

          Beloved <\/span>youth, <\/span>wait <\/span>on <\/span>God. <\/span>Do <\/span>not <\/span>rush <\/span>into <\/span>relationships. <\/span>Focus <\/span>first <\/span>on <\/span>your <\/span>walk <\/span>with <\/span>Christ. <\/span>When <\/span>the <\/span>time <\/span>is <\/span>right, <\/span>He <\/span>will <\/span>bring <\/span>the <\/span>right <\/span>person <\/span>into <\/span>your <\/span>life.<\/span><\/p>\n

          \n

          \u201c<\/span>Delight <\/span>yourself <\/span>in <\/span>the <\/span>Lord, <\/span>and <\/span>He <\/span>will <\/span>give <\/span>you <\/span>the <\/span>desires <\/span>of <\/span>your <\/span>heart.\u201d<\/span><\/em> (<\/span>Psalm <\/span>37:<\/span>4, <\/span>ESV)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n

          May <\/span>the <\/span>Lord <\/span>guide <\/span>you <\/span>and <\/span>bless <\/span>your <\/span>relationships <\/span>with <\/span>wisdom, <\/span>purity, <\/span>and <\/span>purpose.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

          Amen.<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

          \n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/article>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n