What to Do When You Have Reasons to Blame Someone

It is very rare for someone to have a conflict with another person without any reason—most often, disagreements arise from jealousy, misunderstandings, or unresolved resentment. For instance, if someone wrongs you, it is natural for anger or hatred to arise. Perhaps someone has harmed your family, insulted you, or even physically attacked you. These are all “reasons” that can make it hard to love or forgive that person.

Some reasons are so serious that even before God, you might feel justified in blaming someone—maybe they were a murderer, a corrupt person, or a deceiver.

But what does the Bible teach us when we face such circumstances?

Forgiveness Despite Just Cause
Colossians 3:12-15 says:

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful.”

Notice verse 13: “if any of you has a grievance against someone…” This shows that even when you have valid reasons to blame someone—perhaps a parent, teacher, or leader who failed in their responsibilities—the Bible calls us to forgive as the Lord has forgiven us.

For example, someone might betray your trust or speak ill of you after you helped them. Naturally, you might feel you have every reason to hold a grudge. Yet, God instructs that we must forgive, just as He forgives our sins freely despite the many reasons He could condemn us.

The Blessing of Forgiveness
Luke 6:37 reminds us:

“…Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

Forgiving releases a heavy burden from our hearts and allows God’s peace to flow within us. Holding grudges, on the other hand, opens the door to bitterness, and even God may convict us for harboring unforgiveness.

Life on this earth is full of trials and offenses. If we allow resentment to dominate our hearts, we demonstrate a lack of spiritual maturity and hinder our fellowship with God. Therefore, learning to forgive—even when we feel justified—is essential.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
Matthew 18:23-35 illustrates this truth:

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. One servant owed him ten thousand talents. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he, his wife, his children, and all he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees and begged, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay back everything.’ The master was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave the debt. But when that servant went out, he found a fellow servant who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and demanded repayment. The man begged, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay back everything.’ But he refused. His master heard of this and called him in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger, the master handed him over to the jailers until he could pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

This parable emphasizes that God’s forgiveness toward us is immense and unconditional. Likewise, we are called to extend forgiveness fully, without holding back.

Conclusion
No matter how justified we feel in blaming others, forgiveness is not optional for a follower of Christ. By forgiving, we release ourselves from the heavy burden of bitterness and reflect God’s love and mercy in our lives.

Practical Application:

Pray for the strength to forgive even when deeply hurt.

Remember God’s forgiveness toward you as motivation.

Forgiveness does not mean condoning sin; it means releasing the person into God’s hands.

May the Lord bless you as you practice forgiveness. Share this message with others and encourage them in the journey of grace.

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